The Importance of Saying No

Not long ago, I was asked to help with an upcoming event. My response was a quick and resounding "No". The speed at which I delivered this reply actually surprised me. My style in years past was to hedge and/or apologize. But time and experience have taught me a few things, and it's gotten easier to say no. (I must give credit to my husband too. He sees my stress level escalate and encourages margins.) I felt badly about turning this opportunity down, but saying no was the right choice.

This got me thinking - what causes us to say yes when we should say no?

• We feel guilty.
• We want the approval of others.  
• We think it'll further our cause or career. 
• We want to help family, friends, community, etc. 
• We're afraid we're missing out on important opportunities.  
• We think we can handle it, not fully grasping the effects of another commitment.

Why is it important to say no? Because it offers opportunities to properly align our priorities and life. If we don't, it will affect our quality of life, spiritual growth, relationships, health, and work in a negative way. Many of us are too busy, not allowing enough margins or down time. When we set boundaries by saying no, we open the door to time and possibilities - to think, pray, brainstorm, learn, daydream, recharge, do quality work, and build lasting relationships. More time, less stress - the benefits are obvious.

Saying no sounds good in theory, but what can we do to put it into practice and see resulting benefits? Here are a few things that help me.

Define priorities. What are the non negotiable, must-do commitments? It helps to first fill the schedule with people, tasks, and items that reflect our beliefs and what's most important to us.

Don't respond immediately. While it's courteous to reply to the request, we don't owe anyone an immediate answer. Ever. And if they expect one, that's their problem. Take time to think on it, pray about it, and consider all the angles.

Think about the consequences. Consider how you'll feel once you commit to this new thing. Do you imagine feeling overwhelmed, annoyed, stressed out, and otherwise agitated? Or is this a good fit, something you feel led to do? Is it a long or short term commitment? How will it affect your life and family? It's always better to feel peace versus angst about a decision.

Find your good balance. Sure, there will be busier times, extra favors or necessary tasks for others, interruptions, and emergencies that arise that complicate and clog your days. But what's your bottom line? What has God placed you on this earth to do? Use that as a guide and aim overall for the structure that is the best fit for your faith, family, health, and other priorities.

Set boundaries. If you don't define your parameters and priorities, someone else may do it for you. Defend your space. Allow yourself grace. And guard your time. It's a precious commodity and once it's gone, that's it. You don't get it back.

No regrets. Will saying yes cause you to have regrets over doing it, or not having done something else? Consider how you want to spend the remainder of your life. With whom do you want to spend it? Go and live life. A real one. 

Remember this. When you do say no, it gives you the ability to say yes at just the right time. Who knows what great things are just around the corner! :) 


What would you add to this list? Do you find it difficult to say no? How do you manage your priorities and time?

Taking a week off to catch up on some things. Will return on March 26. Enjoy your week! 

Happy writing, 
Karen




Image credit: Pexels

6 Ways to Manage the Demands of Blogging

As you know, blogging is a wonderful way to meet people, sharpen writing skills, make connections, and market services and books. There's no getting around it, though, blogs require attention and care. Writing content, posting, general site upkeep, responding to comments, visiting others' blogs, etc., it can get overwhelming at times. How can we keep stress to a minimum? Here are 6 tips that have helped and inspired me.

1) Keep posts short.

Long posts are great, but short ones can offer good info and interaction too. It doesn't hurt to take the pressure off sometimes, sharing brief thoughts, a quote, or simply asking your readers one question. A high word count doesn't guarantee quality content or reader engagement.

2) Schedule posts in advance.

This is probably the best thing since the invention of the blog. Whether you're going away, looking ahead to a super busy month, or have an idea for a July post strike you in February, scheduling ahead can be a lifesaver.

3) Offer regular features.

Author Susan J. Reinhardt's Friday blog posts share interesting links and info. Ask the Expert, a staple at veteran freelance writer Jennifer Brown Banks' site, offers great interviews. Regular features here include Meet the Blogger and Miscellaneous Monday. These types of posts provide good content and can be scheduled in advance.

4) Post less often.

There are no blogging laws dictating post frequency. Sure, you want to be consistent so that readers know when to expect good content, but that doesn't mean you must post every day. When I began blogging, I posted twice a week. I'm down to once a week now with an occasional extra post as necessary. This better suits my schedule, as I suspect you prefer a sane Karen over an overworked, scattered one. 

5) Find a good time management balance.

This is an ongoing challenge, with family, work, social media, and other demands. But we need to find and maintain our right balance. It's tricky, but it can and must be done to be healthy and productive. Allow yourself space and grace, too, when things don't go as planned. In ten years, it won't matter if you miss a post or forget to tweet. 

6) Take a break.

A little time to regroup, refresh, and catch up on other things is therapeutic. Plus it gives you time to stock up on chocolate or other necessities. I hate to say it, but the blogging world will manage in our absence. And that's okay. They'll miss us, of course, but they'll soldier on until we get back.


Basic tips? Yes. But ones worth revisiting when feeling uninspired or overwhelmed. At least for me, anyway. :)

How do you manage blogging's demands?

Happy writing, 

Karen 

 Photo credit: F. Turco

Juggling Time or Tasks?

Can you juggle time? 

We might think so, but it's probably more accurate to say that we juggle tasks. From the necessary to the enjoyable, we try to accomplish it all, but not always with great success. The trick is to keep these tasks airborne to create the illusion that we're getting it all done. But are we?

If you were to look at my to-do list, you'd see that I'm not getting it all done. Within reason, this is okay. Life happens, and it needs to be enjoyed too. But I've been reviewing my habits in relation to my goals, to write well and productively. There's one small issue, though - I am a master procrastinator, and with that, get distracted often. I need regular reminders to stay on task. So thought I'd share my observations and action steps on the off chance that you might have similar "juggling" challenges.

• Ignore the internet. It's like a magnet. Facebook, Twitter, email, it's just crazy. Trying to write an article with my email open is a tangent waiting to happen. So I keep those windows closed, or bribe myself. Article done = dark chocolate. Or something similar that helps motivate me. 
• Ignore the phone. Or at least, screen calls. That way, if the Super Duper Contest Company calls to tell me that I won, I won't miss it. I also designate working hours, otherwise interruptions can hijack the day.

• Ignore the chores. I don't mean ditching housework forever, only for a bit when it means getting a project finished. Saturdays are often my chore days to get general cleaning done. Knowing that keeps the distraction level down.
• Ignore the "must-do-now" items. You know, like the files that want to be alphabetized, or the unfinished craft project mocking you from the next room. Focusing on the task at hand frees up time later to work on those other items.

Pretty basic, I know, but when keeping these things in check, a lot more gets accomplished. Which means I can enjoy the other facets of life, which are just as important. A balance of self discipline, flexibility, and determination makes that juggling act a lot easier. 

(Speaking of easier, one helpful resource is Jeanette Levellie's book, Shock the Clock. It offers great tips on time management for writers and other creatives.)

Are you a procrastinator? What tasks do you juggle? What helps you focus and get things done? 

Taking a break before heading into my 7th blogoversary celebration in March. We'll have a few guests and maybe even a giveaway or two. :) See you on March 7!

Happy writing,
Karen

  
Image credit: Free Images

Close the Window

It's funny how a deadline can reveal weaknesses in one's self discipline.

It makes you a little more conscious of how many times you raid the kitchen for a snack or walk out to the mailbox.

Then there's the desk straightening, and the sudden need to vacuum the dust bunnies underfoot. And the refrigerator. Just look at how dirty it is! It needs to be cleaned out. Right now, of course. 

What does one do when faced with so many distractions?

Here are a few things that have helped me: 

1) Ignore the phone. If nothing else, I screen calls. (That way, if someone calls to say I won a big writing award, I won't miss it.) I also mentally set aside "working time" and don't answer the phone.  Too many calls can hijack the day.

2) Dismiss the chores. I'm not saying that we should ditch housework, but sometimes things can wait. The sun will still rise tomorrow if the carpet doesn't get vacuumed today. But we won't get paid for the article if we miss a deadline because we got sidetracked chasing cobwebs. 

3) Reschedule the must-do-now distractions. The bookshelves that scream to be alphabetized? Tell them to hush. The overflowing file cabinet that's mocking you from the corner of the room? Don't stress over it. They will be there tomorrow.

4) Close the window.  The internet is by far my biggest distraction, like a tangent waiting to happen. I get WAY more done if I close it. 

These simple actions help me better manage my time. With a good balance of determination, self discipline, and flexibility, my writing stays on track.

What keeps you from your writing or other projects? Do you close the window? What helps you stay focused and get things done?

Happy writing,
Karen

A Collection of Goodies

The onset of summer is the perfect time to share an assortment of goodies, don't you think? Perhaps these links will help make your writing journey a bit easier. :)

Have you ever attended a writing conference? Kristen Lamb shares the benefits in Why All Writers Should Attend a Writing Conference. 

Do you write for children? Write to Ignite's First Annual Summer Writing Contest is accepting submissions through June 30, 2014. Check out the details here.

How important are critique partners? In Critique Partners and Covenant, Susan J. Reinhardt addresses the significance of finding ones you can trust.

How are your time management skills? Jennifer Brown Banks of Pen and Prosper offers insight in this post, What Every Writer Should Know About Time.

Searching for character names? Check out Behind the Name, a handy site that features the etymology and history of first names. For a fun and interesting twist, give their Random Name Generator a try.

Diversify! That's Susan Sundwall's advice to writers who like to make money. (Don't we all?:) Susan should know, she has oodles of published works to her credit. Check out her tips and links here.

Is motherhood an extreme sport? Rhonda Schrock weighs the possibilities in a recent post on her blog, I am sure she'd welcome your input.


What's on your agenda this week?

Happy writing,

Karen

Photo credit: Stock Exchange

Social Media - Love It or Hate It?

Merriam Webster.com defines social media as "forms of electronic communication (as Web sites for networking and microblogging) through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages and other content (as videos)."

How do you feel about social media?

Love it? 

Hate it? 

Or, like me, some days like it better than others?

Which ones do you use? Facebook? Twitter? Pinterest? Instagram? Blogs? Goodreads?

It's a good way to meet and stay in touch with people. How many friends have you made through social media? I've met most of you through blogging, and connected with friends old and new on Facebook.

It's a marketing must - to establish a platform and spread the word about our books, writing, or services. Fans and friends (or friends who are fans!) are able to see what's offered and the latest happenings. 

It makes the world smaller and more personal. How many of us have friends from other parts of the country or world? It expands horizons that we'd not have otherwise.

Good things, all.

But there's a downside too. 

Raise your hand if you've gotten sucked into social media when you were supposed to be working on a project, editing, or making dinner. (Guilty.) 

This is the aspect I don't like, the temptation to get distracted and pressure to be or do something we are not. Sure, there are other things that distract us in life. But I think social media surrounds and affects us more than we realize, and it isn't always beneficial. Society expects us to be connected 24/7. This is not good when it takes us away from quality offline life.

The solution? A plan with balance and perspective, I think. Different for everyone, and worth assessing often. Forbes.com shares helpful tips in this article, 10 Social Media Time Management Tips.

Has social media ever overtaken your day? What do you do to maintain a good balance?

Have a great week,

Karen

P.S. If you haven't already, please free to connect with me through my new Facebook Author Page, Pinterest, Goodreads, and Twitter with the buttons on the sidebar. I promise I won't tie you up 24/7. :)

 

Photo credit: Stock Exchange