Monday, March 11, 2013

There's an App for That

I'm excited - Rhonda Schrock of Grounds for Insanity joins us today! What better way to celebrate a Blogoversary than with a sweet and special friend? Rhonda's blog is among my favorites; her wit and wisdom never fail to make me laugh and encourage my heart. If you haven't already met Rhonda, I'm thinking you'll like her too.


Low Speed in the Tech Age - is There an App for That?

by Rhonda Schrock

The scales of justice are out of whack. Wildly so, if you ask me.

Why is it that when the demands of life are at their peak, your energy's gone? You’re shot. Pooped. Washed out like the sea at low tide, leaving nothing but a crab or two and a hank of stringy seaweed on your proverbial shoreline? How come?

Just when you’re working like a one-armed paperhanger to establish your career. Just as you’re knee deep in teenagers and college kids. Just at the time your financial needs are the greatest and you’re funneling buckets of money to your insurance guy, it hits you. You’re not a Mustang anymore. You’re an aging Chevy with several dings on the hood and some rust on the fender. Well, shoot.

In a perfect world, it would be different. Back when the earth was young (before the serpent slithered in and Eve took to stitching leaves), it wasn’t like this. But she did it. She up and bit the apple, and it’s been downhill from there. 

Now it’s 2013, and we’re a long way from the Garden of Eden. In the extraordinary explosion of technology that we’ve seen, you’d think we’d have some solutions. You’d think.

Mr. Schrock recently purchased the newest generation of smart phones. This sharp little device can do everything but scratch your back and tie your shoes. Oh, and make your coffee, though a super-sweet application he found can find the nearest Starbucks. I just love technology.

One of his favorite apps is the weather one. With the flick of a fingertip, he can access the forecast for the week, the day and the hour. This eliminates the need to actually trot outside into the elements to determine what one's wardrobe should be.

Finance guy that he is, he's got a stock market app. This way, he can track the ups and downs of Wall Street.

 My method's much simpler. I track movement on The Street by what happens next. If there's shouting, grinding of teeth or flinging of the phone, I know which way it went. That's my cue to administer chocolate. 
 
Other apps he's downloaded include news, music and fitness. With the latter, he can figure up how many calories he's burned through his various forms of exercise. Again, my low-tech method of following his progress is watching his reaction. If it's the “bad day on Wall Street” kind of a deal, then I know to rush in with carrots and hold the chocolate. I’m sharp like that.

Compared to his very smart phone, mine’s not quite a stone tablet. An Egyptian scroll, papyrus, with a quill dipped in ink. Two sticks rubbed together to make a spark, start a fire and signal in smoke. Not quite.

Oh, the full keyboard is a real upgrade when it comes to texting. And it's pearly pink and white. There is that. But it's strictly functional. No downloading of funky apps for fun. No Facebook updates by phone from far-flung locales (alright, from the coffee shop and the grocery store), either.

I’ve put the App King on notice. One of these days, I’m getting one of those. And baby, the girl will need some apps.

He can keep the weather one. Admitting that I find the weather channel about as exciting as a bowl of cornflakes is a big risk here in corn country. That’s why I’d never say it out loud until I was at least as far as St. Louis, so I’m whispering it to you, a few of my closest friends.

For a real buzz, I’ll need a caffeine app. And I don't just mean a store locator. I’m seeing a feature that will give you a measured dose of caffeine at the press of a thumb. If they can do it with morphine pumps, they can do it on my phone. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Another one I’ll need is a name extractor. This is for those awkward moments when my internal database has frozen and crashed. And I know someone else who could use one, too.

My dad is terrible with names. He's great with people, but names give him fits. He will have entire conversations, peppered with jokes and stories that leave the other party hollering on the floor, without quite remembering their names. Later, when he relates it to us, his first-degree relatives, he’ll say something like this, “Saw Ole Whistle Britches today.”

“Whistle Who?” we’ll say, drawing a blank.

“You know. Whistle Britches.”

When no amount of guessing or spirited charades can extract a name, we give up. What is a name when he’s just had a ball, yukking it up with—well, whoever it was down at the feed store?

But back to those apps. I realize this is advanced stuff. Face recognition and caffeine delivery via cell phone?

It’ll be awhile ‘til I can afford one, but that should give technology time to catch up. I’d sure like to know the name of the Whistle Britches I’m having so much fun with.


Rhonda Schrock is the mother of 4 sons, ages 6 to 23. She and her family live in Northern Indiana. She is a telecommuting medical transcriptionist and the writer of the weekly column, “Grounds for Insanity,” which appears in The Goshen News.  A prolific blogger, she’s written professionally for Bethel College and has, additionally, contributed to numerous blogs. Rhonda is also the editor of “Cooking & Such,” and her column is featured there regularly.  You can find her at www.RhondaSchrock.com.

Thank you, Rhonda! You're a peach. :)

Be sure and stop by Rhonda's blog. She'd love to see you!

Giveaway News

Congratulations to Alex Cavanaugh, the winner of last week's ebook giveaway! Stay tuned for more Blogoversary giveaways later this month. :) 

Back to apps - I think there should be an app for bad hair days. Who's with me? What kind of app would you create?

Have a great week,

Karen

37 comments :

  1. Technology is pretty fun. :-) Cute post.

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  2. I want an app that will fetch everything for me.

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  3. Thank you, Karen, for inviting me today. What a treat to visit you, Bright Orange Purse and all! :)

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  4. I'd like the sinkhole app. One that I could program to open up under our big red barn where hubby stores used oil cans, cardboard boxes, a Mustang skeleton, rotting lumber and so many other sacred items I can't number them here. Rhonda, since you're on top of all of this let me know when that one comes out, K?

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  5. Jessica,
    It is fun! And it's fun to have Rhonda stop and visit too. Glad you liked it. :)

    Diane,
    Yes, now there's a wonderful idea for an app. We need to add that to the list! :)

    Rhonda,
    It's a treat to have you, that's for sure! The BOP girls must stick together. :)

    Susan,
    Now there's an excellent thought for an app! :) Reminds me of the portable hole my sister wishes she had sometimes to crawl into when a relative said something embarrassing in public.

    Happy writing,
    Karen

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  6. She is brilliant! Thanks for sharing this with us, Karen. It made my day.

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  7. I won't even scare you with the apps I use on my iPad. And yes, there is an app for everything.

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  8. Hi Karen! Hi Rhonda! Great post! I like the idea of a caffeine app. LOL!

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  9. Rhonda is a dear friend of mine and I'm glad you had her visit on your Blogoversary. I could really use a face recognition app and also an app for taking the dog out when I've just settled down in my favorite chair to relax.

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  10. Rosaria,
    I agree, she is brilliant! So glad you enjoyed it. :)

    Alex,
    Scary apps, huh? Well, that IS scary! lol Congrats on winning the book! :)

    Loree,
    Hi to you too! :) I agree, and I think I need that caffeine app right now...

    Barb,
    So nice to meet you! Gotta love Rhonda, don't you? :) Thanks for hopping over to see us.

    Blessings,
    Karen

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  11. I enjoyed this post. Yes, we're in an ever-ready-for-a-new-app world alright. Which leaves us wondering what the next one will be...

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  12. Rhonda's husband's phone is a modern marvel. I don't know how he has time to check up on all of those things.

    I just wish technology would slow way down for a bit and give me a chance to catch up.

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  13. Funny post! Great to meet you, Rhonda!

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  14. Linda,
    Glad that you enjoyed it! Rhonda always has good things to share. :)

    Nancy,
    All this technology does seem to leave us little time, doesn't it? Perhaps you'll catch up soon. :)

    Melanie,
    I am glad you thought it was funny! Rhonda's a peach! :)

    Blessings,
    Karen

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  15. A thoroughly delightful post. Thanks for sharing Rhonda with us!

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  16. What a fun post! I'm heading over to Rhonda's blog now =)

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  17. You-all are very kind. I'm thrilled right up to the gumline to meet you, Karen's friends.

    Yes, his phone IS a modern marvel, maybe even the eighth wonder of the world. In black. Shaped like a 2x4.

    :D

    Waving and grinning,

    Rhonda, She of the Pearly Pink Phone

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  18. Fun post! I wish I had a Butler app--something that would do all the little, not-that-important-but-must-be-done stuff in my life.

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  19. I wish I had a "maid" app. If I can't have one, I wish I had a "cure chronic health issues" app. It's not been a good afternoon.

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  20. I wish I had a app who would do all the work I hate to do.

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  21. A housework app would make me dance!

    Rhonda is my favorite funny lady. Thanks for having her!

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  22. Lisa,
    I am so glad you enjoyed it! Rhonda is a sweet lady! :)

    Ruth,
    I think you'll enjoy her blog, where there are more goodies like this one. :)

    Lydia,
    Glad you liked it! :) A butler app, now there's an idea!

    Cecelia,
    A maid app would be great, that's for sure! Hoping you feel better today. :)

    Rachna,
    Yes, me too! Glad you came by to see us! :)

    Jen,
    Oh, yes, me too! We'll have to work on that one. :)

    Blessings,
    Karen

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  23. Hi Karen...Rhonda does sound like a peach. Funny, too. Thanks for sharing.

    My app would say, "Nap. NOW." ha hhaa Susan

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  24. OOps, sorry about that.
    Seems I've taken a nap on "apps". :-) Hope to learn more in the future. B/T/W/ Happy Blog Anniversary, and thanks for sharing this post on Rhonda.

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  25. Again, thank you so much for hosting me today, Karen. It's been a pleasure, hearing from your friends.

    Happy Wednesday, my friend!

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  26. Susan,
    She is! :) Glad you agree. I like the nap app. I want that one!

    Jennifer,
    Thanks a bunch! Let me know when you get that tablet. I'll compare apps with you! :)

    Rhonda,
    You are welcome! It's been fun!

    Blessings,
    Karen

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  27. Soooooo many apps. Can't one do my laundry? Or drive to work for me?

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  28. Karen:

    Happy Blog Anniversary! Thank you for hosting Rhonda.

    Rhonda:

    It's nice to meet you. Your piece was funny and relatable, and I have to tell you that the first thing I did when I got my smartphone was *delete* all unnecessary pre-installed apps. They ate up too much battery life! I don't tweet, don't do Facebook on my phone, don't post my current location every 10 minutes for the world to see, etc. None of that jazz. I tend to download functional apps like the one that turns your phone into a flashlight. Oh, and trivia apps. Love trivia games. :-)

    Blessings to you both!

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  29. Great that you have Rhonda here, amigo! I enjoyed this post. Hmmm. An app to critique my stories for me. Yes!

    Congrads to THE ninja captain on his win.

    Hugs pal. xoxo Hope your day with that precious grandson didn't wear you out too much. Ha!!!

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  30. i wish i have app that can follow my wishes...haha.. great one.. thank you very much for sharing..

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  31. A coffee app..??
    Yes please. I'll take the double strength shot. xx

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  32. Laura,
    I think that is an excellent idea for an app! :-)

    Janette,
    Thanks so much! :-) Glad you could come over to see us.

    Robyn,
    I knew you'd love Rhonda! Big hugs, amigo! :-)

    Dorji,
    There are so many good app ideas! Glad you could stop by. :)

    Dotti,
    Will have to have Rhonda send that app your way! Hugs to you! :-)

    Blessings,
    Karen

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  33. I'd sign up for the Name Recaller, I get stuck quite often. I enjoy Rhonda's blog, it was nice seeing her here.

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  34. Sally,
    Now there's a good one! :) I think we all could use that once in a while at least.
    Happy writing,
    Karen

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  35. Hi Rhonda, Hello Karen!

    Great app making post! I want one which would remind me of what I was 'just about to say' or to find things which I 'put away in a safe place!'

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  36. You folks have some great ideas that should absolutely be "app-ed." :)

    Again, thank you so much for reading and commenting. And thank you, dear Karen, for having me.

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Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your input. Have a blessed day!