3 Ways to Move Past Rejection

Anyone who's been writing for a while has known rejection. Whether an unaccepted article or book query, a polite decline from an agent, an unkind blog comment, or a bad book/article review, rejection can be hard to swallow. It stings. And it sometimes creates an argument in your head. True story: I had a mental conversation with the person that posted the two star Amazon review for my book. I felt my head was the best locale because a) I don't know them and b) I'm too polite to say anything if I did know them, and c) sometimes it's just better to keep your mouth shut. 

While we know that rejection is part of life and serves to help build character, it can make us doubt our abilities. We might be hesitant to submit again, finish that story, contact a potential freelance client, speak at a writer's workshop, or to just write anything at all. It might even make us hesitate to stick our heads outside ever again. (Okay, maybe that's just a tad dramatic.) 

When our confidence wavers, so can productivity. So how can we move past the sting of rejection?


1) Keep it in perspective - Rejection does not mean you are a lousy writer. It means that whatever you wrote this time around was not suited to the market, readership, publication, reviewer, etc. Not everything you write will be everyone's cup of tea. And that's okay.

Despite this rejection, the sun will still rise and set tomorrow. Your family, friends, and pets still love you. God still loves you. You are here for a purpose, and wallowing around in rejection for great lengths of time does nothing to help you live life to the fullest.

2) Recall and value past accomplishments - Did you finish that writing class you took last year? Did you attend and meet other scribes at the writing conference? Was your poem published in the church bulletin? Did that children's riddle get accepted? Does your blog have followers? Did you have an answer to that writing question someone asked you?

Recall past successes, writing related or not, no matter how small. No need to get a big head here, but celebrating the positive can refresh and rejuvenate our mindset. Remember too, that you're on this earth for a purpose. You can affect those around you for good. A kind word or gesture can go a long way. Technically "published" or not, you still have something good to say. 

3) Keep moving forward - Like falling off a bicycle, it's important to hop back on and get going again. Write a story, submit a guest post to a friend's blog, or research that topic and turn it into an article. Take a class or brush up on grammar skills. Experiment with another genre. Meet existing obligations. Just keep moving, learning, and polishing your skills. We don't lose until we quit.


Author Ann Gabhart said, "Rejection is not fatal." She's right. While it's an unpleasant part of life, we can use it as a catalyst, onward and upward to new and better things.


What helps you work through rejection?

Writing always,

Karen


Photo credit: Free Images

Perspective

My book got its first two star rating on Amazon a few weeks ago. Good and bad reviews are part of the deal, but I must admit, it stung a little.            

Other than the initial sting though, I was pretty okay with it. It shook my confidence momentarily, but I remembered the advice of a few of my favorite writers.

Jody Hedlund shared her thoughts on the topic, "My book won't be everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay."  (My paraphrase.)

Ann Gabhart lent further insight when she said, "Rejection is not fatal."

Jody and Ann are right. Bad reviews and rejection - they aren't the end of the world. You can't please all the people all the time. It's all about perspective.

It's been a good reality check, this less than stellar review, for it offered an opportunity to review priorities and what motivates me. Here is my short list. See how it compares to yours.


Faith - I believe that God is in control no matter what. Nothing takes Him by surprise.

Family and Friends - It's good to know your loved ones are on your team.

I. Must. Write. - The need to express myself no matter what anyone else thinks.

The Importance of Sharing - I feel led to share various experiences and bits of info with others.

The Take Away - There's often something to learn from a negative review, constructive criticism, or a rejection letter. Challenges sharpen our skills and help us grow.

Balance - Knowing there will be ups and downs helps maintain a better outlook.

Blessings - Remember and count them daily.

How do you handle rejection or bad reviews? What helps you keep a good perspective? What's on your short list?

It's been crazy busy around here, with a manuscript submission, the start of my teen writing classes, and a wedding on our property over the weekend. So I am taking a break until September 22 when Sarah Sundin stops by to talk about her new book. Hope you can join us. :)

Enjoy September!

Happy writing,

Karen

Photo credit: Stock Exchange

The Sting of Rejection

I had an article rejected recently. It's not like this hasn't happened before; it's part of the writer's life, right? But for some reason, this rejection hit me hard. I felt like I'd been smacked upside my head, and the note from the editor, while polite and helpful, really stung.

Perhaps my reaction was based on overconfidence. I'd sold an article to this publication before. The idea had been rolling around in my head for over a year; I thought it was a perfect fit.

Or perhaps it just hit me at a bad time. Lots of other stuff was happening when the rejection came, and my mind and emotions were spread pretty thin. Looking back, I wasn't on top of my game.

It took me nearly a week to shake this one off. My confidence wavered, and I found myself shy about writing. I thought, can I write anything anymore? Do I have anything to say? I had a difficult time thinking about submitting to this or another editor again.

To make matters worse, I was in the midst of writing a chapter for the book Susan J. Reinhardt and I are writing. (If you missed the post about that, click here.)

Yeah, this rejection was a test of my character, endurance, and adult-like behavior. I would have preferred to ditch life as a big person and head for McD's drive thru for a wild berry smoothie.

Did I? No. Although hubby and I did hit the drive thru for dollar menu on the way home from church that week. Which meant small fries of course. FYI - My sisters and I have a policy - fries make everything better. Just thought you might like to know.

So I didn't wallow in smoothies, I kept moving forward, despite feeling like I was mired in a sea of oatmeal mixed with doubt. Looking back, there were a few things that helped me regain my balance.

Faith - I knew that God is in control, no matter what, and this little silly incident did not take Him by surprise. Always nice to know He's still on the throne.

Family - They were properly, but not overly sympathetic. It's good to know your loved ones are on your team.

Calling - The knowledge that I am called to do this. I must write. Something. Every day.

Successes - I reflected on previously published work. I wasn't trying to be vain, but it helped to know that my work is out there.

Reality Check - There will be times when what I write isn't suitable for a market. I know this, I know this, I know this. But it happens. This is life.

Obligations - Susan was waiting for me to finish my chapter so she could begin the next one. Blog posts must be completed. New lessons written. Life doesn't stop for pity parties, now does it?


I think it's safe to say that my tailspin week taught me a few things, reminded me of blessings, and strengthened my resolve to press on. For that, I am grateful.

What about you, ever have something hit you like this? How do you handle a rejection? What helps you work through it?

Writing always,

Karen

Image credit: Stock Exchange