tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post6932438874564843154..comments2024-01-08T00:51:30.080-05:00Comments on Write Now: Tag Line RepairKaren Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-76029006149892819012011-05-23T14:59:11.472-04:002011-05-23T14:59:11.472-04:00Jillian,
Thank you! Thanks too, for stopping by. I...Jillian,<br />Thank you! Thanks too, for stopping by. It was great to meet you at the workshop Saturday. Best wishes with your writing!<br />KarenKaren Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-75366906657422927092011-05-21T20:26:33.793-04:002011-05-21T20:26:33.793-04:00This is great, and I appreciate the Nancy Kress pi...This is great, and I appreciate the Nancy Kress piece, too. I like the notion that a good tag won't be noticed at all... and that a bad one certainly will be! Also, Poor Ned :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-18316927955928221922011-05-13T16:12:59.894-04:002011-05-13T16:12:59.894-04:00Jen,
Totally with you. Hope the article helps!
S...Jen,<br />Totally with you. Hope the article helps! <br /><br />Sarah,<br />Nice to meet you! I've seen your name around too; glad you stopped by. Thanks for following too!<br /><br />Blessings,<br />KarenKaren Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-80158861865331830322011-05-13T16:05:15.398-04:002011-05-13T16:05:15.398-04:00Hi Karen! I've seen you on so many writer frie...Hi Karen! I've seen you on so many writer friends' blogs that I decided to come introduce myself. :)<br /><br />I think short tags are most effective. For your example, the tag could be changed to, "Ned asked". Then the physical characteristics of both people could be shown naturally through action, etc.<br /><br />Great blog! Look forward to visiting again. :)Sarah Forgravehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09101753891967001104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-29594606538427375392011-05-11T20:51:33.694-04:002011-05-11T20:51:33.694-04:00Clarissa,
Thanks a bunch! And thanks for weighing ...Clarissa,<br />Thanks a bunch! And thanks for weighing in. I appreciate it!<br /><br />Stephanie,<br />Much better! I always like it when the action is surrounding, not jammed into the tag line.<br /><br />Blessings,<br />KarenKaren Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-40065593304590798702011-05-11T16:10:54.577-04:002011-05-11T16:10:54.577-04:00Short ones are better...but long are okay, as long...Short ones are better...but long are okay, as long as it makes sense. That example is just WAY too wordy. It feels like you're running out of breath when you read it. Here's my repair:<br /><br />Ned looked at Walter “Who's your pick to win the Super Bowl?” he asked. They were having dinner at Cattle City Steakhouse. Big, tall Ned was digging into a twenty-ounce steak while skinny, awkward-looking Walter was pushing a small sirloin around his plate.Stephanie Farishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461865229341760836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-35019995473473155862011-05-11T16:08:36.607-04:002011-05-11T16:08:36.607-04:00I agree. They should be kept short and to the poin...I agree. They should be kept short and to the point. Great post.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12160669603997465454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-31609167147291942842011-05-11T13:49:18.240-04:002011-05-11T13:49:18.240-04:00Eileen,
They are! The way to go, I'm thinking!...Eileen,<br />They are! The way to go, I'm thinking! :)<br /><br />Jen,<br />Exactly. Sort of like a fly buzzing around your head!<br /><br />Jessica,<br />I know, it's very awkward. A "before" version for sure.<br /><br />Thanks for the input,<br />KarenKaren Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-76676070871963460102011-05-11T13:43:07.918-04:002011-05-11T13:43:07.918-04:00If it's well done, I probably won't care b...If it's well done, I probably won't care but in this case, there's too many adjectives, imo, which makes the second part of the sentence awkward. :-)<br />I'm going to check out those links. Thanks!Jessica Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12365768876905444157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-60535691010896046532011-05-11T11:55:47.725-04:002011-05-11T11:55:47.725-04:00I love dialogue, but dislike long tag lines. They ...I love dialogue, but dislike long tag lines. They distract from the flow of the scene. <br /><br />Thanks for this post and the links. I printed out the article from RD to refer to later. <br /><br />Blessings, <br />JenJeanette Levelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12898750484193832082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-10273284307844259232011-05-11T11:53:59.735-04:002011-05-11T11:53:59.735-04:00Rachna,
Yes, distracting is a good word for it. I ...Rachna,<br />Yes, distracting is a good word for it. I try to keep them out when I can.<br /><br />Pearl,<br />It's nice to meet you! I know, I don't want to be tripped up while reading either.<br /><br />Eileen,<br />Me too, and I think that's the general feeling here. Appreciate your input!<br /><br />Blessings,<br />KarenKaren Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-67849567896428654442011-05-11T11:09:49.165-04:002011-05-11T11:09:49.165-04:00I prefer action beats, too. They are great for sho...I prefer action beats, too. They are great for showing a lot!!Eileen Astels Watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11098531184044931737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-77866504401203626292011-05-11T08:18:42.848-04:002011-05-11T08:18:42.848-04:00I find longer tags awkward and interrupting. They...I find longer tags awkward and interrupting. They can sometimes take you out of the moment and into the fact that, oh, hey, I'm READING. I think most tag lines can be done as separate sentences that do not interfere with the story...<br /><br />PearlPearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05261369905176088917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-90213899717466459882011-05-11T05:29:24.589-04:002011-05-11T05:29:24.589-04:00I like short tags and if I can get away with it no...I like short tags and if I can get away with it no tags at all. Very long tags are very distracting.Rachna Chhabriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16900999965919504282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-2692196640461273412011-05-10T19:34:48.556-04:002011-05-10T19:34:48.556-04:00Hillary,
Yes, ringing true - good point! I think I...Hillary,<br />Yes, ringing true - good point! I think I can see her too. :)<br /><br />Stephen,<br />Well said there. You're hired. :P<br /><br />Talli,<br />Me too. Aiming to get batter at it, as I am sure you are too. :)<br /><br />Karen,<br />Yes, you are right, I'm thinking. Will have to check out Leonard. Thanks for the heads up!<br /><br />Diane,<br />I did, thanks! Hope you did too. :) Wishing you a great week.<br /><br />Joylene,<br />I like that, and I like your example. Thanks!<br /><br />Charity,<br />Thanks for letting me know, Charity! Wanted you to know I stopped by but didn't want to look greedy!<br /><br />Blessings,<br />KarenKaren Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-64818175748428698442011-05-10T17:05:43.016-04:002011-05-10T17:05:43.016-04:00Hey Karen,
Wow! Talk about fun and confusing at th...Hey Karen,<br />Wow! Talk about fun and confusing at the same time:) I guess you never realize how much goes into writing. <br />I wanted to stop by and let you know you can definitely enter any of the giveaways on my blog. Normally I only stop a winner when they have won several times in a month. Doesn't normally happen:) <br />Take care!Giveaway Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06276720906524112349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-17030453125911332302011-05-10T12:07:57.187-04:002011-05-10T12:07:57.187-04:00In my current WIP I'm trying to eliminate tags...In my current WIP I'm trying to eliminate tags altogether, (not quite) and use sense of place and active voice instead. It's still a work in progress. <br /><br />ie. John laid a hand on the back of the wooden chair. "Hey, if you don't want to sit down, that's cool." He picked the chair up and threw it across the room. "It's not particularly comfortable anyway."Joylene Nowell Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04497637513532136615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-87185997437596083442011-05-10T11:26:36.347-04:002011-05-10T11:26:36.347-04:00Hope you had a wonderful weekend and all is going ...Hope you had a wonderful weekend and all is going well for this week! Hugs friend!!! :O)Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07604687906788800639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-89826961972116077432011-05-10T10:41:52.525-04:002011-05-10T10:41:52.525-04:00Like most of the other commenters, I think this ta...Like most of the other commenters, I think this tag is heavy and laden with description that goes elsewhere in the story. Less is more when it comes to tag lines. Elmore Leonard, to me, is a master of the tagline. He manages to always use "said" and then accompany it with just the right amount of character attitude.Karen Harringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13425141684712829990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-48467748686301248882011-05-10T10:14:34.201-04:002011-05-10T10:14:34.201-04:00I'm not a fan of tags and it's usually som...I'm not a fan of tags and it's usually something I end up fixing a lot in the second draft! Ugh...Talli Rolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04780882465745107715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-19621401999092363722011-05-10T09:27:29.206-04:002011-05-10T09:27:29.206-04:00“Who's your pick to win the Super Bowl,” Ned ...“Who's your pick to win the Super Bowl,” Ned asked.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-69854972419244833192011-05-10T03:42:51.324-04:002011-05-10T03:42:51.324-04:00Hi Karen .. I like things to be as natural and sim...Hi Karen .. I like things to be as natural and simple as possible - they've got to ring true .. I can 'see' Laura' characters! <br /><br />Great thoughts and interesting to read about .. cheers HilaryHilary Melton-Butcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596532480645510678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-15026887844994898872011-05-09T22:14:19.184-04:002011-05-09T22:14:19.184-04:00Tana,
I'm with you! Give me short ones, none, ...Tana,<br />I'm with you! Give me short ones, none, or a good bit of wraparound action, handled well of course!<br /><br />Susan R.,<br />You've got a current WIP to practice on, don't you? :D<br /><br />Cecelia,<br />Me too. I think alot depends on how the rest is handled too. Your suggestion is a good one. :)<br /><br />Lisa,<br />Yes, and I think that's one thing that bugs me about them. I like that - ripples instead of a splash. Good one!<br /><br />Sandie,<br />Yes, I'm on your team. :) Will meet you at the steakhouse to discuss it! lol<br /><br />Blessings,<br />KarenKaren Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-68100559935227229882011-05-09T22:07:53.178-04:002011-05-09T22:07:53.178-04:00I'd leave a little to the imagination and expo...I'd leave a little to the imagination and expound on it later. sandieChatty Cronehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02232040517217024681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-855485928545677951.post-43759533539920937612011-05-09T21:59:18.611-04:002011-05-09T21:59:18.611-04:00I don't like much tag line at all with dialogu...I don't like much tag line at all with dialogue, because it usually tells rather than shows. Also, too many adjectives distract. I'd rather discover all that information in ripples, rather than a splash.Lisa Ricard Clarohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05048410207952052295noreply@blogger.com